Please be prepared for me to go on a total mom rant right now....
Why do we feel like as parents that we must give our kids everything? Is it really necessary for an 11 year old to have not just 1 but 2 cell phones and on top of that one of them has full unblocked unrestricted Internet access? Is it necessary that they have every technology in their bedroom? Is it necessary for our boys to own every gaming system known to man and every rated M game sold even though they are only 7? Is it really necessary that we tell our daughters that they are independent women and go after what they want thus causing them to think "pursuing that cute boy at school and asking him out over and over" is really the way to "get what they want"? Is is necessary that we allow them to dress at the age of 10 as though they are 20 with shorts too short and barely there shirts leading our boys into temptation at the ripe age of 10? Why are we not standing up to them when they smart off to us and allow them take control of our house?? Why are we allowing our kids to compare themselves to the famous people on the front of GQ or Cosmo, thinking that their bodies need to look that way (I would look that perfect is I was airbrushed too).
What is going on out there??? I am the proud mother of 2 boys who have been raised in church, we have rules and restrictions for our kids, we only own 1 gaming system (WII) and support the family who owns none, my kids are not allowed at 7 and 10 to have girl friends and have been warned about the girls who pursue them in stalkerish fashion and dress as if they belong somewhere other than elementary school. My kids have always talked with respect to adults and know that in this house they have expectations that will be met or there will be consequences. Up until now I suppose I have been pretty naive to how drastically things have changed, sure I have seen it over and over...the little girls who get out of the car looking like a whodathunkit in what must be their pj's complete with hair everywhere while their mothers (driving the new Accord or BMW) are beautifully kept, and the boys who haven't brushed their teeth in weeks, wear their pants to low and talk...well what they are doing I would not classify as talking it's more text slang put coming out of their mouths. Until now I have been fortunate enough that my kids have been solid in our family and who they are that the effects on them have been relatively small. Sure they have the random selfish silly request of an IPhone when they are in kindergarten or get upset when we wont buy them candy but all in all the effects have remained small. Now that I have a 4th grader and we are new to a community he is trying to impress the guys, but these guys he is trying to impress have no rules or guidelines so I am finding my very sweet son stuck in limbo, he knows where he is from but he is desperately seeking acceptance from his peers in a dangerous manner using disrespect and laughter as his tool. I am embarrassed for him and sad that the families like us seem to be so few and far between. I am sad that he feels pressured by his "friends" to have a girlfriend, to play spin the bottle and kiss them on the playground. I am sad for him that he has to be someone he is not just to impress these kids who really aren't his friends at all.
I am not saying we are perfect parents or that our way is the only way. And I know that we have messed up in so many ways as parents (we all do) but I am shocked at kids and parents. I am shocked at the lack of parenting parents do and feel it is OK. And most of all I am shocked at how greatly it is affecting my son. Do we see anything wrong with a 10 year old having boyfriends and girlfriends, do we not see the impact that this makes on the spiritual welfare of our children. They are children! If they are kissing in 4th grade what will they be doing in 6th grade? And how do we stand back and wonder with utter curiosity why there are so many teens pregnant and how can we be amazed that shows like Teen Mom are as popular as they are??? We are entertaining it and encouraging it. What happened to barbies and army men? And why do we justify it with "the world is changing?" The world isn't changing....society is. When shows like Teen Mom and Modern Family get the top ratings that is society changing not the world. I am sad that today I have to talk to my 10 year old son about sex and pregnancy and God's desire for his life and heart. I am sad that today the innocence of my son will be gone and the pressures of the world will be on his shoulders.
WAKE UP AMERICA!!! Get a grip on your kids, let them be kids, give them boundaries and say no. If they hate you I promise it is OK. Did any of us like our parents when we were kids?
In closing I must say, we by no means claim to be perfect. We are not perfect, I was a teen mother myself, but I have been married to the same man and father of both of my kids since I was 19, I am now 30. We have stuck it out through the good, the bad, and the down right nasty. But we enlisted God and gave our lives and our kids to him several years ago. We work in the youth department and see the results that this worldly parenting has on children at age 14 and even 17. We make mistakes daily, yell and spank but the foundation of our home is God. We have high hopes and dreams for our kids with high expectations. I just know that as a whole where we are leading our kids, our children, our precious children who look to us for guidance, is down the crapper. We need to stand up and take charge of our lives and our kids lives and put the order back in our family, starting with God on top not our kids.
I am open and appreciate any feedback you would like to leave, positive or negative. I am prepared for the good and bad with this post.